One year ago at this time I was 9 days overdue with Sophia, and I’d had mostly painless contractions consistently since early that morning. Maren spent the evening playing with her cousins and when she got home we got her ready to put her to bed. We said a tearful goodnight to her, because I knew it would be the last time I saw her as my only baby. As soon as she went to bed my labor started intensely. I had both of my babies at home, so my midwife came over to check on me and then said “I’m not leaving.” I was ready to push within two hours (also ready to die), and then spent an hour and a half or more – I don’t even remember – pushing. I had a lip preventing me from being fully dilated, but I was technically at a 10. I remember declaring over and over “I’m never doing this again” and it being worse than my first birth, which I wasn’t expecting. She was finally born in one push at 2:32 am on December 1. This last year has gone so fast, but at the same time it feels like she’s been with us forever.